Presence

No, no! I'm talking about presence, not presents. However...most of us do like getting presents. There's just something about giving and receiving presents. Presents are magical and usually meaningful - with the exception of those that get regifted.

But there's also something magical and meaningful about presence. When we spend time with others, we help create magical and meaningful moments and memories.

There are two examples of presence that have stuck with me throughout my life. They aren't anything exciting to the outside world, but they are part of my story. And they have helped make my life full and complete. When I was a boy, we lived in a rural area, outside of a small town. On occasion, I remember taking "road trips" with my dad. I put road trips in quotations, because they are far from that. But as an 8 or 10 year old boy, a 15 mile ride in the car with my dad was pretty amazing. It was magical and meaningful. One of these road trips was to a farm that was only about 15 miles from our house. But in order to get there, we crossed over the county line and we even had to go over a "large" river on an old bridge. Brrrr...scary. But this also added to the magic and meaning. The other part of the trip that stuck with me was the farmer's 38 tractors! As a boy, I was enthralled by cars, trucks, tractors - pretty much anything with an engine and wheels. My dad knew this. So being able to see so many tractors in one place and sharing this moment with my dad was magical and meaningful.

Speaking of loving all things with engines and wheels, the other moment of presence that has stayed with me was the time I got to spend several hours with an aunt - driving her way-too-cool Mazda. It had a hand-crank sunroof and I think it had manual transmission. The details are getting a little fuzzy, but the moment has stuck with me for several reasons. First, she let me drive her way-too-cool Mazda. And "B," we got to talk for several hours as we scoped out the countryside of our rural area. We even ventured into the larger city near us - into some pretty swanky neighborhoods. It was a glorious afternoon. And if I remember correctly, I think my aunt got in trouble with her mother - for being gone so long and not letting her know where we were. This was in the pre-cell phone days.

These moments transformed me. They allowed me to drink in more of life and store away some memories that, to this day, still make me smile. They still touch my heart. The Alternate Routes have a song Nothing More. I think the chorus poignantly sums up the idea of presence:

We are Love
We are One
We are how we treat each other when the day is done
We are Peace
We are War
We are how we treat each other and Nothing More

So...when you spend time with someone doing something that seems boring, pointless, or insignificant, just remember, you might not ever know how magical and meaningful the presence will be to the person/people you're with!

Making a Difference

I want to do something of great importance.  Epic.  I'd like to make a difference in this world - leave it a better place than when I arrived.  Something big, something memorable, something that people will remember...and talk about years after I'm gone.  Like Mother Teresa, or the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., or W.E.B. DuBois, or Anne Lamott.

Recently, I watched "Argo," a movie about the Iranian hostage crisis from the late 70s - early 80s.  Hopefully I won't give anything away in case you haven't seen the movie yet, but it's an amazing story.  Of courage, and creativeness, and hope, and fear, and the height of humanity's best, and the depths of our disconnection.  And it's a story about making a difference in the world.  I found myself wrapped up in this story, complete with my heart pounding, shoulders tense, and adrenalin running through me.  When the end credits rolled, it was hard to come back to today.  But I did.

I haven't done anything of great importance.  Epic.  But I'd like to think that I've made a difference in this world, and that I've made it a better place.  Simply because I'm here.  Because God created me and placed me in a particular time and place.  Sure, I've made some mistakes and some bad choices in my life.  But that doesn't take away from the big picture of life.

Life is full of variety.  Some of us will do epic things - things that will be remembered for a long time.  Some of us will make epic mistakes - mistakes that become the learning curves and slang of tomorrow.  But all of us are here on purpose.  God wants us here.  And that is pretty epic.  I don't need to seek notoriety, because I'm already known.  By the One who matters most.

And the One who matters most knows my gifts and talents, and simply asks me to participate.  To appreciate where I am, and do what I can do to make the world a better place.  And the One who matters most doesn't want me to define epic by human standards.  Because the One who matters most sees epic in the transformation of lives - when we put aside fear, hatred, segregation, and judgment.  When we stop disconnecting from ourselves, each other, and God.  When we realize that epic is found all throughout our daily lives - sunrises, breath, coffee, rain, friends, tears, seasons, potato chips.

Epic is all around us.  And God wants us to add to epic by loving ourselves, our neighbors, and God.  God wants us to add to epic by participating in daily life.  Add to epic by paying attention.  By living fully into the image after which we have been created.  By being who we are.  By being where we are.  Is this making a difference in an epic fashion?  Maybe not the way we define it.  But it's epic to the One who breathed creativity and greatness into our time and space.  We are epic creations, simply because...

How to Serve

So it's one of my favorite times of year.  It's early September, and autumn is just around the corner.  Here in Asheville, we're getting a taste of it this week.  The air is cool in the mornings, and the shadows are crisp and dark during the day, letting us know that the humidity is low.  And, the final tennis Grand Slam of the year is now taking place - The U.S. Open.  I sooooo enjoy watching the great plays, and even the frustrating ones - when my favorites aren't doing so well.  I guess I dream a little bit about being a player on the courts in Flushing Meadows serving at a blistering 22 miles per hour to my unsuspecting opponents.  Ahhhhhh...what a great life!

But, alas, 22 miles per hour won't get the job done at Flushing Meadows.  Because that's not how one serves in the world of tennis.  In order to serve effectively, one must imitate a master-server.  And that got me thinking about how we as Christ-followers are to serve in this world.  Are we imitating our master-server?  Jesus truly showed us the way by becoming one of us, by humbling himself, by being concerned about our interests, by spending time with us, and not seeking recognition or fame.

And although service is something we do, it really is about a way of life.  We're not to view serving as something we do for or to people, but rather, we serve with people.  We serve with those in need, because all of us are in need of something.  None of us are better or worse than anyone else - even though we do our best to label people.  Humility, like Jesus.  We look out for what's good for everyone, not just our self-interests.  That also means we serve without expecting to get anything in return - like a thank you.  Because, if we expect to get a thank you for something "good" we did, that means we really are more concerned about ourselves than others.  It means that we're not quite willing to meet people where they are, but expect them to meet us on our level.  That's not what Jesus did.  He meets us where we are, but helps us get to where he is.  And he does this by serving us.  Wow!

And serving others comes in countless packages.  We church folk sometimes get tunnel-vision, and view serving others as a project, or an outreach, or a free meal.  Although these can be heartfelt areas of service, let's not limit what God wishes for this world.  What if serving others meant we take a Thursday afternoon to help create a community gathering space? (Thanks for this idea, Carly!)  Serving others comes from listening to each others' hopes, dreams, and concerns.  Serving others is something we do together, because we all need a helping hand every now and then.

So let's be creative in the ways we serve one another.  Because God is creative and cares about the diversity within Creation.  Let's imitate our master-server.

Being Present

It's easy for me to forget that I'm not here on this planet to please myself.  Even though there's a survival instinct that came with the package, I sometimes need to remind myself that survival isn't about being self-centered or trying to build an empire of power or wealth.  Survival also isn't about isolation or separation from others.  Sure, there are times that I need to be by myself.  We all need that from time to time.  We need to relax, pray, play, and recharge the body's systems so that, together, we can fully engage life.

It's easy for me to forget that ours is a shared experience because of the "To-Do" lists, the bills, the chores, the responsibilities, and the way I seem to run through time.  And I also have moments when, even though I am present with people, I'm really not there.  My mind is a million miles away whirling through all the things that I "have" to do.  And if I'm not careful, when my presence is needed most, I miss a moment of shared grace with someone.  All because I'm distracted.

I wonder how God feels when wanting to share a moment of grace with us, and we miss the still, small voice - or loud, booming one?  Do you think God mopes when we sometimes don't pay attention?  Because we'd rather hunt through Home Depot for the most obscure item that we "have to" have, than sit outside in the sunshine and feel the presence of God in the wind or the silly squirrels?  I don't think God mopes, but I think God's heart breaks a little bit.  And I think it breaks for us, not for God.  See...God's nature is all about sharing love.  God just wants to give love.  So much so, that God spoke Creation into existence - as an act of love, and to continue to share love.

Yet, for some reason, we humans tend to hold onto stuff instead of sharing.  That hard-wired survival instinct kicks in, but goes a little haywire and tries to tell us that we can't give away our time, our love, our feelings, our money, or our coffee.  The more we have, the more we feel "safe."  But the reason God gives out love is so that we can stay connected to the One who helps us live fully awake.  Fully alive.

So here's my suggestion for today.  If you have windows you can open, open them.  Let God remind us of our connection with the world outside our home, office, or car.  We are connected to one another.  We share space with each other.  We need each other's presence - annoying at times and all.  Or better yet, get outside.  Listen.  Share.  Move.  Talk.  Listen.  Smell.  Laugh.  Cry.  Do all these, if you can, with someone else, or with a group of others.  I think when we're truly present with others, God's heart gets happier.  So much so that it spills even more love back into our lives.  And so on, and so on.  Here's to the Great And So On.

Prayer

This week at church, we're going to talk about prayer - what it is, and how we should pray.  And I'll admit, at times the topic of prayer gives me the "doe in the headlights" stare.  Meaning, sometimes I think I'm doing okay with prayer, and other times...well... not so good.  There are moments when the words flow without thought; they are natural, and authentic.  I also have moments of "prayer block."  What comes out is clunky, cold, and shallow.  Not that I ever want the words from deep within my soul to be clunky, cold, or shallow.  But that is what they are sometimes.  Even when my intentions are pure, and I am trying to shoulder someone else's grief or burdens by offering words to our Creator, sometimes the words get stuck.

So what is prayer?  Why do we pray?  What should we pray?  How do we pray?  Yes, prayer is something we do, but I've learned along my journey that prayer is more a way of life.  Something as simple as acknowledging my neighbors with a smile, a hello, or that man-head-bob that says, "'Sup?"  - that's prayer.  Prayer brings us into a sacred time and space, no matter where we are, and links us to God and each other in ways beyond mere words.  And as we go about our daily lives and interact with one another, there are numerous opportunities to be the answers to others' prayers.  Sharing space and time, a meal, a laugh, a hug, a caring hand of help, a voice for those who are overlooked, a moment of silence to listen for God's still, small voice - all this allows us to enter into prayer.  Time with God, and with others.

Jesus gives us insight about prayer when he's giving the Sermon on the Mount.  He says we shouldn't be showy and don't need to use big words and antics to get God's (or people's) attention.  He says we should go into a private space and give God our complete attention.  When we talk to God in prayer, first we acknowledge God - whoever God is for us.  Then, we confess whatever's on our hearts and mind - things where we feel we've fallen short.  Then, offer God thanks for all our daily provisions.  After all this, we bring our requests to God for others and ourselves.  It's simple in format, but as with anything meaningful, it takes a commitment of practice.

So here's to practicing today's prayers - in their countless shapes and forms.  Spoken.  Unspoken.  Doing.  Giving.  Love.  Dessert.  Forgiveness.  May our Creator inspire us, challenge us, and remind us who and whose we are today through prayer.

Love

Okay...I'll admit it.  It's been a tough week.  Lots of stuff going on at the moment that's vying for my attention, including the unexpected death of someone I recently met - and instantly loved.  It was a shock to me and definitely to family and friends.  As I spoke with friends and family in preparation for the funeral tomorrow, I heard the word love used a lot to both describe this person and how this person approached life.

And that got me thinking about the love in my life.  And once again, I am able to breathe a little easier and feel God's peace wash over me to calm the chaos in my spirit.  I am grateful that in the midst of noise and clamor this week, I was able to spend some time with my daughter and her BF.  I am glad that she makes good, loving choices in her life, and her BF is proof of that.  In fact, 99.9% of her friends are proof of that.  Hey...I can't say 100% because no one's perfect :-)

And I'm soulfully grateful for my wife.  She is without a doubt the best part of my life.  Because of her, I can see God's love in my life and in the lives of all she touches; I can feel God's presence in this world; I experience God smiling down upon Creation; and I am a better man because of her influence.  She believes in me.  Like God believes in me.  She challenges me.  Like God does.  She accepts me, warts and all.  Like God does.  Sometimes, she frustrates me.  Like God sometimes does.  She's not perfect, but she sure does live into the image after which she was created.

And I am eternally thankful for all the family in my life.  They all have left their marks on me - some more than others.  But all have left a part of themselves with me.  And what would life be without friends?  This week we made 2 new good friends, and we will spend time with 2 good old friends.  Not old, as in chronologically superior, but old as in - we've known them a while.  And have been through a lot together.  And I look forward to catching up, and hearing what's going on in their world.

Life is often messy.  Sometimes broken.  Love helps clean up the messes and is the glue that holds us together.  And love is more than a squishy feeling inside.  Love consists of all the things we choose to do for those around us - whether they love (or even like) us in return.  This God-inspired type of love forgives, moves on, matures us, reconciles us, heals us, sustains us.  So whether you feel like you have love in your life or not, you do.  Turn to the One who created you.  Open your heart, mind, body, soul, and life to the One who is love, who is always with us, and always loves us!  May you feel love today!

Situational Pornography

The house...

The car....

The high-power job.  The perfect partner(s).  The look, clothes, computers, smart phones, boats, and all the other stuff that's supposed to make us feel larger than life.  I'm not here to 'dis' the cool stuff that exists in the world.  Quite frankly, I could see myself in a really sweet Donzi - the Porsche of powerboats.  What I'm talking about is where we place our focus and what we chase after.  In other words, do we chase after fantasy situations - unrealistic conditions, settings, relationships, jobs, body image, and status we believe will fulfill us and make us happy - life's situational pornography?

I recently heard a term "ministry pornography" used to portray a picture of a fantasy ministry setting that most pastors will never experience.  It describes the 'rock star' pastors who have stadium-sized congregations every Sunday, incredibly large campuses, and everything seems to be going their way.  This type of unrealistic image can distract us from the glorious realities of our ministerial settings.  This term isn't slamming mega-churches or their pastors.  It's a wake up call for the majority of pastors who lead smaller congregations to not forsake the settings we have been called to.

And that got me thinking not just about  ministry - but life in general.  I think back to when I was a teenager and an early 20-something.  I'll admit...I often fell into situational pornography thinking: "I'm gonna be a famous musician with lots of fans, a great beach house, lots of money, and I'll be really happy when I achieve it."  Reality check - last time I took inventory of myself I wasn't a famous musician with lots of fans, I don't have a beach house, and I'm not super rich.  But...I am happy.  And that's a big deal.  I'm happy with where I am in life, because where I am is where I am supposed to be.

I'm not saying we shouldn't try to better our lives, our communities, and our world.  And I'm not saying we should be content with poverty, unemployment, racism, or other injustices that affect our lives.  And I'm also not saying that we shouldn't dream.  But facing our realities as they are empowers us, guides us, directs our dreams, pushes us to do bigger, better, greater, God things that will have lasting impacts.

Sometimes life is good.  Sometimes it's not so good.  But God is with us every step of our journeys whether we feel it, know it, or acknowledge it.  And when we embrace God's peace and contentment, we do great things in our everyday rituals and interactions.  We don't need to escape through situational pornography thinking.  God wants us to participate in life!