Who We Are

Someone at church invited me to attend a volleyball game that his 12 year-old daughter's team was playing. They would be playing a rival team. I watched in awe of the talent of some of these 12 year-old girls, with their wicked, perfectly-arcing serves, incredible digging, and their attention to their teammates. It also took me back to my school days, where I was not very athletic. It was a little painful trip down memory lane of wanting to be good at sports, like many of my friends. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be cool. But, I am not a 12 year-old girl; thus, I am not cool. You get the idea.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer once wrote that we are who we are because of others. I mentioned this in church this past Sunday. We are who we are because of others. That doesn't mean we are who we are by comparing ourselves to others. It means I am who I am because you are who you are. A little difficult to comprehend, but here's one take (mine) on this notion. This past Sunday I also told the story of a friend of ours who struggled with an addiction to alcohol. I sat with this friend one afternoon as she was in the throes of her addiction, telling me about the really bad things that happened to her when she was a child. As I listened, I thought to myself: I don't know if I could have gotten through all she went through. Then I verbalized it to her: "Maybe we all go through the things we do in life for the sake of others. I don't know that I could have been strong enough to come out on the other side of childhood trauma. But there are people who do, and I think you're one of them." She smiled at me, with a look of peace in her eyes and said, "I don't know how you can be a pastor, and have to listen to so many people's problems. I could never do that!"

Maybe I am a pastor because of the cool 12 year-old girls who can serve a volleyball better than I ever could. I was not given the talent to play volleyball well; and I love to play volleyball - especially beach volleyball. But it was a beach volleyball incident that knocked my back out of whack many years ago. And it still bothers me to this day - almost as if it is telling me, "This isn't who you are." And it's true. I am not a volleyball player. And I am also not my back pain. I am someone lucky enough to have been woken up by the Spirit. I am someone fortunate enough to have been transformed by love. I am someone blessed by my life's experiences; they have taught me to look beyond myself to others and to God.

I am who I am because of who you are. And whoever you are, I thank you for being who you are. I will do my best to live the rest of my life as me so that you can be who you are, and we can be who we are - together. As God intended.