I would like to tell you about a congregant of mine – Eve (name changed for privacy concerns). Eve is the daughter of a well-known family here at my church. She just graduated high school and is enjoying her summer break before heading off to college in the fall. Well…for the most part she was enjoying her break. Until recently. See, a couple of weeks ago Eve and her friend were enjoying a warm summer Saturday night in Charlotte. Lots of people had come out to enjoy the music and outdoor events. As the evening progressed, a group of what some people might call “thugs” targeted Eve and her friend. Because of what the girls were wearing and how they were acting, the group decided that they would give them “what they had coming.” They would “teach them a lesson” they would not forget. And they did. They attacked Eve and her friend…in public…with people around…and no one intervened. No one helped. Even after the attack was over, people ignored their cries for help. People just walked right by them.
Oh…did I mention that Eve and her friend are gay? They were attacked for merely being in a public setting enjoying the evening. The group of young women who attacked them decided that they didn’t like their “gayness.” So they attacked them…in public…with people around…and no one intervened. No one helped. Even after the attack was over, people ignored their cries for help. People just walked right by them. Until a fellow teenager saw them and used a cell phone to call 911. The teen sat with the two girls until help arrived. Although there was security for the night, they did not help. The incident received no media coverage. It was swept under the rug as if it never occurred.
When I was contacted by the family, my heart broke. I know Eve. I like Eve. She has a sweet spirit about her – a spirit that has been damaged by others hatred and prejudice. As I made my way to Eve’s house, my heart was racing because this was something that I was certain that I would not have the right words for. I was certain that Eve would drop the “God bomb” on me and ask why God would allow this to happen. Ugh. What will I say? I pray the whole way to her house. I arrive to find Eve and her friend in a heated discussion. I stand in the background, listening but trying not to eavesdrop. Then it happens – the “God bomb” is dropped. But not by Eve, by her friend. “This is exactly why I don’t believe in God. Where was your God when all this happened?” her friend drills to me. My heart sank and my tongue froze.
Fortunately, Eve steps in. She turns to her friend and says, “You’ve got it all wrong. The only reason I’m still alive today is because I do believe in God.” Complete silence fills the room. Tears well up in all of our eyes. Through the bitter disappointment, anger, fear, and sadness of this incident, Eve understands God’s grace and is able to put it into words so that all of us can understand and experience God’s grace as well. Eve offers us her sweet spirit.
I wanted to tell you Eve’s story for a reason. And it’s not about what side of the gay fence you’re on. It’s about offering love and compassion for our fellow human being, helping to end oppression and violence, and speaking up for those whose voice isn’t heard – whether the voices are gay, or homeless, or undocumented, or struggling with addiction, or fighting a mental illness. It took a lot of brave people to help the Civil Rights movement stop oppression and violence. It will take a lot of brave people to help end oppression and violence for all who are condemned by society. But we must keep the words of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in mind when he said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” How can I call myself a friend of Eve’s if I remain silent?
May Eve’s strength and dignity rise up in all of us.
