Situational Pornography

The house...

The car....

The high-power job.  The perfect partner(s).  The look, clothes, computers, smart phones, boats, and all the other stuff that's supposed to make us feel larger than life.  I'm not here to 'dis' the cool stuff that exists in the world.  Quite frankly, I could see myself in a really sweet Donzi - the Porsche of powerboats.  What I'm talking about is where we place our focus and what we chase after.  In other words, do we chase after fantasy situations - unrealistic conditions, settings, relationships, jobs, body image, and status we believe will fulfill us and make us happy - life's situational pornography?

I recently heard a term "ministry pornography" used to portray a picture of a fantasy ministry setting that most pastors will never experience.  It describes the 'rock star' pastors who have stadium-sized congregations every Sunday, incredibly large campuses, and everything seems to be going their way.  This type of unrealistic image can distract us from the glorious realities of our ministerial settings.  This term isn't slamming mega-churches or their pastors.  It's a wake up call for the majority of pastors who lead smaller congregations to not forsake the settings we have been called to.

And that got me thinking not just about  ministry - but life in general.  I think back to when I was a teenager and an early 20-something.  I'll admit...I often fell into situational pornography thinking: "I'm gonna be a famous musician with lots of fans, a great beach house, lots of money, and I'll be really happy when I achieve it."  Reality check - last time I took inventory of myself I wasn't a famous musician with lots of fans, I don't have a beach house, and I'm not super rich.  But...I am happy.  And that's a big deal.  I'm happy with where I am in life, because where I am is where I am supposed to be.

I'm not saying we shouldn't try to better our lives, our communities, and our world.  And I'm not saying we should be content with poverty, unemployment, racism, or other injustices that affect our lives.  And I'm also not saying that we shouldn't dream.  But facing our realities as they are empowers us, guides us, directs our dreams, pushes us to do bigger, better, greater, God things that will have lasting impacts.

Sometimes life is good.  Sometimes it's not so good.  But God is with us every step of our journeys whether we feel it, know it, or acknowledge it.  And when we embrace God's peace and contentment, we do great things in our everyday rituals and interactions.  We don't need to escape through situational pornography thinking.  God wants us to participate in life! 

Who is God?

Wow, what a loaded question!  Most of us have some sort of understanding and description of God, but how do we really know who God is?  I mean, we can't see God, although we see evidence of God.  It's hard for us to put into human terms that which encompasses all we know and experience.

But I'll try my best.  If you asked me this question 20 years ago, my answer would have some similarities to how I would answer today, but there would be drastic differences as well.  See...I've been growing and maturing over these past 20 years (I hope, anyway), and everything I have experienced has shaped me as a person.  All these experiences have also shaped how I understand who God is.

Sometimes I think a good way for me to answer who God is, is to say who God isn't.  For instance, God isn't bound by our human thoughts, emotions, and limitations.  Yet God comes to us, up close and personal, on a daily basis.  And, God isn't Santa Claus.  In other words, if I ask God for a pony, God won't 'make good' on my prayer only if I'm good.

Also, God isn't boring.  In fact, God is downright exciting, challenging, and quite an interruption to our daily lives.  Yet, I think we humans often downplay God by the way we try to squeeze God into our human thinking.  In other words, do we allow God to shape our lives and guide our thinking and actions?  Or do we go about life and ask God to line up with our plans, prejudices, and agendas?  I'm often guilty of the latter because I'm human.  So I have to seek out God, study God, and listen for God.  This is done when I am present with people, when I listen to, and interact with my neighbors.  I learn who God is when I share a cup of coffee and a story, when I listen to the dreams of a child, when I walk or run and truly take in the awesome wonder of creation, and when I thank God for the gift of my wife and daughter.

God can be found everywhere, but we often are distracted - by work (or lack of), bills, sports, vacations (or lack of), social media, TVs, cars, clothes, relationships, and...you get the picture.  But...God is also present in all the things I just listed.  Because God is everywhere.  And God cares about all that we do and experience.  So, who is God?  Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer.  Father, Son, Holy Spirit.  Great One.  Abba.  I am. All That Is.  And on, and on, and on.  May we find out who God is today.  And, if we're here, may we start the process over again tomorrow.

Conviction and Conversation

Ever been in a situation where what you believe was harshly or critically questioned?  Maybe you were even the brunt of gossip, rumor, criticism, or slander.  Still...you couldn't shake the feeling deep inside that you needed to stick to your guns.  It's not easy when it seems like you're the only one (or one of a very few) whose thinking and actions are in contrast to those around you.  Situations like this test our character and convictions.

Once, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to a church he founded in Thessalonica.  This city was the capital city in the Macedonian province, and in the heart of the oppressive Roman Empire.  Paul wrote this letter because he had heard that folks there were sticking to their guns - even in the midst of opposition.  He, himself, was encouraged by their faithfulness.  So he wrote the letter to reciprocally encourage the church to continue to be strong in their convictions no matter what others said.

Paul had his share of conviction-standing moments.  Once he was the church's number one enemy.  He killed many early Christians in an attempt to curb a new religious movement that threatened his way of belief.  But after his conversion moment - where he encountered the living and loving Jesus - his convictions changed.  In many situations after this point, the persecutor became the persecuted.  Many of Paul's letters include details about suffering and imprisonment as a result of sticking to his convictions.

So what are our 'black sheep' moments?  What do we face that causes us to stick out like a cultural sore thumb?  Do we stand up for the person being bullied?  Do we share the good news about God's love for the world?  Do we choose to say something about a joke that targets people because they're outside the 'norm' of society?  Do we let someone else have the easy and convenient parking space?  Do we seek out to accept and affirm all people - even our enemies?  Even the enemies of God?

Newsflash: at times, we're all enemies of God.  Because at times, we all want to do things our way and look out for number one.  That's one of the paradoxes we live with.  God wired a survival instinct within us.  But I believe God wants us to expand our survival instinct beyond the self.  God wants us to think about others.   Instead of seeing what's 'wrong' with and always competing with others, God uses other people to remind us of the diversity that exists in this world.

And with diversity comes differing ideas, opinions, and convictions.  How we deal with our differences is one of the biggest challenges God allows us to experience.  Sure, we can stand on our convictions in the midst of cultural diversity.  But we must not become islands of 'righteousness' when doing so.  We should allow room for conversation, reconciliation, and transformation - for all involved.  God wants us to seek higher and better ways.  God wants us to know what breaks God's heart.  God wants us to stand against oppression and injustices.  God wants His convictions to be ours.  Let us learn and reflect the convictions of our Creator - even when they're not easy or popular.

How Will We Respond?

Suzanne and I are still fairly new at this whole United Methodist thing.  But we know that we know that we know we're supposed to be here.  Even in the midst of boxes and upheaval and changes.  I don't mind change too much.  And I realize that change constantly occurs.  If I try to kid myself into thinking that change doesn't always happen, all I have to do is think back to what I was doing just 10 years ago versus today.  Wow, what a difference!

Being a United Methodist pastor means that I agree to go serve where I'm appointed.  Right now, we're packing our house up and will be moving it up the road a'piece to Asheville.  It's only 80 miles, but there's so much involved - so much to think about.  Turn this service off; return that piece of equipment; make sure things are wrapped securely so that they won't break.  The list is pretty long.

And I think about those in the Bible who were called by God, and packed everything and simply went.  Take Abram and Sarai: Abram was about 75, which would put Sarai at about 65, when God invited Abram into a covenant relationship.  God asks Abram to pack up all his belongings, take his family, and leave the safety and security of his surroundings, extended family, and community protection in order to travel.  To where?  God doesn't tell Abram.  God simply says, "Go."  And Abram takes God up on this invitation and goes.  Now I think about the times they were living in and I cannot even imagine how hard it must have been for them to go.  Even if they only traveled 80 miles, like we're doing, it would have been an incredible endeavor.  No roads.  No moving trucks.  No cell phones.  No fast food joints to stop along the way when the kids say, "Are we there yet?"  And no boxes to pack everything in.

Hmm...no boxes.  Maybe that was their advantage over our "easier" and "convenient" times.  No boxes means they more than likely didn't collect the amount of things we humans tend to have these days.  Boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff!  And our move was just two of us!  I'm sure that Abram and Sarai had valuables.  But I'm betting they didn't have as many as we do today.  Yet...I bet they  had just as much stress involved with their move as we do today.

Because when God calls, usually, God interrupts our lives.  And that's okay.  Whether it's in a move, or a call for us to renew our thinking, or stand up to do the right thing when others aren't, or help end legalized discrimination, or step outside ourselves to share the love of God with others, God constantly challenges us.  Sometimes God gently nudges us.  Sometimes God bonks us over the head and screams, "Hello!?!?!"  Either way, when God calls, how will we respond?  We have the ability to choose our responses - to God and others.  Will we be risk-takers?  Will we be timid?  Will we try to calculate our potential gains?  Honestly, the answer is yes.  We'll probably respond in all these ways - and more.  Because we're human.  And we'd like answers...concrete plans.  But most of the times, we won't get them.  We want safety and security, but we don't want people telling us what to do.  That's the paradox of life.

How will we respond when God stirs in our spirits?  It's up to us.  And God trusts us because we were made in an incredible image!

Our Connections

Today is the first day of summer, and I like summer.  I like all the daylight we get; usually it'll be after 9:00 pm here in NC before it gets completely dark.  And I like the summer fruits and vegetables, and I like the life in the trees, plants, grass, and yes, even the bugs.  I like ice cream and warm days, and I like to watch thunderstorms form.  Their massive structures fascinate me.  Now...I like all the seasons for their diversity, but I often feel more connected to nature and to God in the energetic summertime.  

These past few days I have been attending Annual Conference for the Western North Carolina Conference of the United Methodist Church.  Say that three times fast - whew!  We meet at Lake Junaluska, NC, which is a little bit west of Asheville.  It's a beautiful place near Waynesville and Maggie Valley.  Interspersed among the beauty of nature, we gather for worship and attend to some of the business of the Church.  Granted, we all don't agree on all that gets voted upon, but hopefully we remember the reason we exist as the church - to help transform the world by sharing God's love in real and tangible ways.  And we're here because of God's equal love for all of us.

Annual Conference also reminds us that we are connectional.  That means that we don't exist as individual churches; we're part of the big United Methodist Church.  And beyond that, we are all connected to the Church - God's church.  And we're connected to each other whether we're church-goers or not.  We're all human, after all.  We're connected to each other in the midst of our differences, diversity, worship styles, clothes preferences, stations in life, and on and on.  God's love is displayed through our differences.  So we should celebrate our God-gifted differences and allow them to bring us together to talk - to get to know one another's stories.  At times, we see our differences as reasons for separation and labeling.  But our differences connect us together; they bind us together into a vibrant tapestry of humanity.

We all have our hopes, dreams, fears, joys, tragedies, and triumphs.  We are fragile creatures, yet we are incredibly strong and resilient.  Together, we can create beautiful, life-affirming, and reconciling connections that cross over cultural, age, gender, sexual orientation, class, and language differences.  We can come together to appreciate and celebrate one another in the different 'seasons' of our lives.  Sometimes we find ourselves in warm, life-giving seasons like summer.  Sometimes, we're smack in the middle of cold and darkened days.  Sometimes we agree; other times we don't.  That's life.  But we're created to live together.  And we all matter to our Creator.  And we are all here on purpose.  We're all connected.  We just need to remember that.

Working on the Details

In preparation for our upcoming move, Suzanne and I have been doing some home improvements in our new digs.  Right now, we're in the throes of kitchen revamping - sanding cabinetry to remove old stain, in order for us to paint.  It is a very dirty, dusty, and tiring job.  For the bigger and easily-accessible sections, we need to apply sheer brute strength.  Bur this work also requires patience and an eye for detail, as some of the nooks and crannies are proving to be quite difficult.  And, they require special tools to get the job done.  Instead of allowing the bigger tools to do what they do best - chew off the coating - we need to gently and intentionally guide detailing equipment into very obscure sections that no one, and I do mean no one, will ever see.

So why put so much effort into a job like this - especially into the sections nobody will notice?  Well...the answer is obvious for the doors and the cabinet faces.  People will see the outer shells.  And most will judge the finished product by what can be seen.  But, it also requires spending time refining the obscure inner parts in order to complete the whole picture.  Because the obscure inner parts are important.  They matter.  Even though they will not be often (or ever) seen, their character will be reflected through the outer and visible parts.

And that's how it is with people, too.  We tend to make quick judgments by observing the outer shells.  She's pretty.  He's a snappy dresser.  Nerd.  Skate rat.  Bum.  Important.  Worthy.  Useless.  But the inner parts, the parts that we don't see right away, are what make us who we really are.  And in order to really know someone, it takes time and intentional effort to get to know the inside - one's character.  Sometimes these things called relationships are dirty, dusty, and tiring work.  At times, we apply brute force, but we really need to slow down and gently and intentionally appreciate the details of someone's character.

Same is true for ourselves.  It takes time and effort to develop the parts of our character that no one will directly 'see.'  Like faith, honesty, integrity, and the willingness to sacrifice for others.  These are traits that will not be seen with a quick first impression.  But they are important because they are 'seen' through our words and actions.  They might not be the most glamorous parts of ourselves, but they make us who we are.

And our faith is about the details as well.  In fact, it's the details that make up the foundation of our faith.  If we don't take the time to work on the smallest details of our faith, then the rest is truly just a shell with no substance.  Jesus once told a story about building a house on sand.  It might look beautiful on the outside.  But if we don't pay attention to the details of the house and the surroundings, it won't last.  The least little bit of wind and weather, and it will crumble.  Because the builder didn't see the importance in the obscure inner parts.

God cares about our obscure inner parts.  And God cares about the outer shells, too.  God took the time to sculpt us into who we are as people, and wants us to take the time to appreciate who we are - as individuals and as community.  But this takes time, patience, and intentional effort.  So let's slow down in order to work on and observe the details - in ourselves, each other, and God.

Maybe You Really Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

Three days ago, in my quiet morning time, I was reading my local newspaper.  As I got through each section one by one, I found myself on the page with the comics, horror-scopes, and the crossword puzzle.  Briefly I perused Lio (a new favorite) and B.C. (an old favorite).  Yes, I also humored myself by checking out the answers to life's dilemmas for Aquarians.  And then my eyes stopped on the crossword puzzle.

Crosswords remind me of my dad.  When growing up, I remember him working on crosswords.  A lot.  Big ones.  Scary Ones.  Epic ones.  I've tried to do crossword puzzles over the years, but I've never been able to get past roughly 5 Down or 15 across.  Guess the apple fell too far from the tree.  Guess the puppy wasn't paying attention to the adult on how to root out the needed words.  Sigh.

Nonchalantly I look at the first "Across" clue only to realize...hey, I know the answer!  So I looked at the next clue.  I know this one, too.  Must be a fluke.  Onward I read, and to my surprise, I knew the third answer as well.  Three in a row.  Quick!  Go buy a lottery ticket!  Thinking my luck was about to run out, I timidly looked at the "Down" clues.  Whadda ya know, I know these, too.  Onward I proceeded with pencil in hand, filling in box after box with letter after letter, until... I finished.  Oh my gosh!  I actually finished a crossword puzzle with no help.  What a red letter day!  Since Monday, I've done the crossword puzzle everyday, and I've finished every one.  Maybe I actually know more than I thought.  Maybe I'm really lucky.  Maybe they're super easy puzzles.  More than likely it's a combination of all three.

But it got me thinking...it's taken me this long to really work at a crossword puzzle and actually finish one.  Maybe it's not too late to teach an old dog new tricks.  Maybe there's more I'd like to try.  And there is.  I really want to learn how to play the guitar.  Guitar players are cool to me.  And they have cool names like Sean, Jeff, David, and J.C.  I tried to self-teach a few years ago, but that didn't go too well.  But that shouldn't stop me from trying again.  Really trying.  Like...with a teacher, really trying, effort.  Maybe someday.

It's not too late to try something new, learn something new, be someone new.  It's not too late to change an attitude, say "I'm sorry," forgive someone, or go back to school.  Don't let a past failed attempt stop you from trying again.  Don't prejudge your outcome by looking at your current circumstances.  Where would we be if Mr. Edison gave up after the first try, or second, and so on?  Or George Washington Carver?  Or Gandhi?  Or God?  What if God gave up on us when we failed at something?  But God doesn't.  God knows our potential and encourages us.  God always reaches out to us and meets us where we are.  But God loves us too much to leave us where we are.  God believes in us.

It's not too late to work at making a change you've been wanting.  Believe in yourself.  Because when you do, you believe in the One who created you!